Smoking is the worst thing a person can do to himself.
PS: I am a heavy smoker.
Man I really admire you for confessing about it and saying the truth about what you feel as a smoker. I know many of my friends who smoke and are addicted yet they never admit that they wish they could quite, they just say that they can quite whenever they want and just look into their eyes and they are liars. They just don't want to admit that they are addicted.
Anyways,I hope you will be able to quite soon and enjoy a healthy life without being addicted to anything. Have a good day and good luck :)