Stupid thing someone told you related to tech

i had a call once from a client saying: hey francois, my computer is not working i have class in 20 min oh my god help me please, i said what do you mean not working, she said it is not working (dear god)so i calmed her and started step by step: please turn your computer on by pressing the power button, so she did then she said see, i told you it's not working, and i said ok, is there a light on your computer case, she said yes, what about your screen led i said, silence for a while then she said no lights, so i said there is a small button on the screen, please push it, so she did and she went OMG it's working you are a genius thank you thank you.....

another one: a guys passed by few weeks ago and asked me about my desktop: nice computer you have is it 17" or 19" ?

or another annoying one : hello, my computer is not working why ?

i can go on forever, after 20 years of support in this field i learned to ignore peoples ignorance .

Francois

Just for fun. when I arrived here in Lebanon I went into a shop to get an internet connection and I knew already that we do not have anything competitive regarding European speed .Well i asked him about the Hdsl he told me something like this is non existant .Then I asked for Adsl he told me that if I wanted to have something this "hyper advanced" I would need to Install a FIBEROPTIC PORT TO MY HOUSE WITH AT LEAST 2 GIGAFLOPS OF COMPUTING POWER. You get the Idea huh -.- My reaction =went out immediatly :D

francois.chaer wroteor another annoying one : hello, my computer is not working why ?

hahaha exactly ... always that question ...

1)
Friend: I put the file on the usb but I can't find it
Me: Maybe its in one of the folders
Friend: I looked everywhere its all gone

I decide to have a look. She goes in the usb and she clicks the documents shortcut from the explorer side panel (Navigation Pane).

Friend: It was here I checked on my laptop.
Me: ...

2)
"I can't find the game. I think I put it on the internet."
deleted desktop shortcut

3)
3rd year CS student tries to send a 6 GB game using team viewer. Is convinced that it doesn't use the internet.

"هيدا هارد ديسك كم رام؟"

Friend: I copied the game to a usb and it isn't working. (Copied the desktop shortcut)

"Leik, how do I make double-u, double-u, double-u?"

"I'm watching Youtube, but I'm not downloading anything, so it doesn't use my quota." - 8 years old me.

Client: "If I walk pass the laptop, it turns off"
Me: "Umm, ok? take it out and let's see.."
*client takes out laptop and puts on counter*
Me:*turns on, walks back and forth and nothing happens*
Client: Seems to be fine now..
Me: "Why don't you leave it and pick it up in a hour, until then, we'll see if anything's wrong"
Client: OK, *leaves*

*1 hour later*
Client picks up untouched laptop without my awareness, and boss telling her it has been fixed.

Then I get a phone call from the client a week later, thanking me for fixing it, and I just tell her "You're welcome madam."

AvoK95 wroteClient: "If I walk pass the laptop, it turns off"
Me: "Umm, ok? take it out and let's see.."
*client takes out laptop and puts on counter*
Me:*turns on, walks back and forth and nothing happens*
Client: Seems to be fine now..
Me: "Why don't you leave it and pick it up in a hour, until then, we'll see if anything's wrong"
Client: OK, *leaves*

*1 hour later*
Client picks up untouched laptop without my awareness, and boss telling her it has been fixed.

Then I get a phone call from the client a week later, thanking me for fixing it, and I just tell her "You're welcome madam."

ouf!! Rise of the machines oi! better watch out, I'm pretty sure the thing knew what it was doing and played it safe when you were there

Stupid thing someone told you related to tech?

many a young fool wrotePffff easy. I could code that in a week!

That OS X > Windows 7

"the iphone 5 is more expensive than the samsung s3, that means it is better" some guy I was arguing with in class sort of a samsung vs apple debate

Nemesis-301 wrote"the iphone 5 is more expensive than the samsung s3, that means it is better" some guy I was arguing with in class sort of a samsung vs apple debate

Its even more expensive then s4, so that make it much much better then s3.

" Its the same thing, Java or Javascript"

In an interview, the guy is so full of himself
"We only work with Microsoft, we don't use traditional old servers like unix"

"the primary key isn't unique"
- database designer

"the document and the code should finish hand in hand"
- a dreamer

guy asks me to check his code, no loop in the code , the guy is asking me
"why is it only showing one record! and only one!"

me: "the latency of the game is not affected by the connection speed, its the ping the amount of time it needs for you to reach the game server"
guy: "so should i upgrade to 1mb?"
me: "no, the ping is not related to speed of the connection"
guy: " but if i get 2mb couldn't it be faster"
me "zzzz"

Sir , my mozzarella fireworks is not working ...please help .

I want 16GB of RAM on my Celeron laptop to make it fast.