• Hardware

  • Funeral Blues (Stop all the clocks) - Nice peom for your dead laptop

Hello everyone, I was reading in the LXF magazine and stumbled upon a nice poem written by Dr. Chris Brown who writes articles and tuts in the LXF magazine under the Dr. Brown's Administeria section. He wrote this nice poem about a dead laptop and it is derived from the original well known poem called stop all the clocks

So I thought I'd share it with you, her it is, enjoy.
Going from the sublime to the redicoulous(or perhaps the other way around) I offer a small poetic work with sincere
apologies to WH Auden.

Stop all the clocks power down the core
My faithful, ancient laptop is no more.
Unplug the network cable and the mouse.
Play the funeral march, turn off the Strauss.

Attempt not to console me with well-meant
platitude
Nor tempt me with a netbook, nor Inspiron,
no Latitude.
I'm well aware technology has recently
moved on,
But me and my laptop - we were one.

It was my North, my South, my West
and East
I thought it good for five more years at least.
I thought "I haven't had it very long."
I thought that disk would last for ever:
I was wrong.

It's time to send out emails, proclaiming it
Is Dead.
It's time to find the backup tapes, and hope
they can be read.
It's time to close the final lid, and with muffled drum
Consign it to dustbin, and let Veolia
come.
Not by me, I found it somewhere on the web
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
and the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
and the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
and your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash.

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
but your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
and your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
then you may as well reboot it and go out with a bang,
'cause as sure as I'm a poet, your system's gonna hang.

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
and the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risk,
when you have to flash your memory and try to RAM your ROM,
quickly turn off the computer and be sure to call your Mom!!