barrad
Hey guys, I currently have a problem.
It is about a girl. Everything started when i sat next to her in uni classes, for a week, not on purpose, i'd just find my self sitting there.
Suddenly i became attracted to her, i started listening to romantic love songs(i know its pathetic)...
So i'm a bit shy, but i try to open conversations with her, she never does the same, but she's kind, and she does respond well.
Recently i'm finding my self obssessed with her, needing to check her facebook every now and then, Not a single hour passes without me thinking of her, I don't have the guts to add her as friend as facebook.
In fact, i Don't even know if she likes me back, she has many friends. I never met her outside classes, but she seems to be adventurer or whatever.
Now this is really tickling my nerfs, i want to get rid of her attration, simply because it is destroying me, but on the other hand i don't know if she likes me back, i'll never tell her about my feelings(that's pretty much me, not feeling superior but i'd deadly shy).
I try to convince my self that she doesn't like me, like there are better guys, with no avail.
Any suggestions?
I don't have many friends i can discuss this with so i thought i'd share it here. sorry.
Anthony2000
just do it, i know its easier said than done, but worst case scenario you will get rejected, however your mind will be clear of worries and doubts knowing that you tried and didn't just sit there, done nothing, and wasted your opportunity.
when you talk to her, be relaxed and not too serious, approach as a friend and just take it easy.
some motivation:
http://giphy.com/gifs/doctor-who-guitar-peter-capaldi-10FUfTApAeoZK8
hussam
What kind of class is it? Ask her if she wants to do homework together. That is usually a good ice breaker. Then when you are together, make some silly jokes. If she laughs, she's interested. If she doesn't, then she's not. Also try not interact much on facebook or anything over the internet. You don't want to end up just another friend.
RandomMemory
Here's a master plan. Get an A on a test, if your grade system depends on dropping the lowest grade, then get an F on the next, ask her to teach you, and then you'll know if she's happy to help. Perfect plan, what can go wrong? fail the semester? All minor compared to love
Die_Kapitan
I'm in a pretty similar position, the sole difference being that my crush is not in the same class I'm in.
RandomMemory wroteHere's a master plan. Get an A on a test, if your grade system depends on dropping the lowest grade, then get an F on the next, ask her to teach you, and then you'll know if she's happy to help. Perfect plan, what can go wrong? fail the semester? All minor compared to love
We want him to get the girl not ruin his life.
rolf
You say that you're shy but maybe you just need to trust her. Not all women are worthy of trust. Get to know her, maybe.
But really it's hard to tell you what to do. Every person is different, every situation is, and you are best placed to know what t do.
If I was at your place, and if I like her, I would keep talking to her. Maybe it will make you feel less shy and you can ask her out.
PS: Quit stalking her on Facebook.
MrClass
RandomMemory wroteHere's a master plan. Get an A on a test, if your grade system depends on dropping the lowest grade, then get an F on the next, ask her to teach you, and then you'll know if she's happy to help. Perfect plan, what can go wrong? fail the semester? All minor compared to love
I really hope you're kidding.
Never waste your future for some pussy. Plain stupid.
RandomMemory
MrClass wroteRandomMemory wroteHere's a master plan. Get an A on a test, if your grade system depends on dropping the lowest grade, then get an F on the next, ask her to teach you, and then you'll know if she's happy to help. Perfect plan, what can go wrong? fail the semester? All minor compared to love
I really hope you're kidding.
Never waste your future for some pussy. Plain stupid.
OFC man, sarcasm is hard to detect on the internet.
TheStunMan
Ill limit my advice to this only, overthinking is good about things that matters.
Totoro
I wouldn't ask her out personally, because I wouldn't want to be with someone I'm obsessed with. I think it would be toxic for the both of us (especially me).
The thing you can do is actually become her friend, with time, with jokes and by finding things in common and then going out for drinks (with your friends and her friends). That way you build your relationship slowly instead of just jumping on her face.
That's just me, and it has worked for me several times.
PS: 1. Be yourself as well, because if she likes another version of you that's not going to help later on.
2. This forum is now your fight club, you can never talk about it and also, never talk about it.
barrad
Thanks everyone.
The last two posts are really what i'm doing: overthinking ( which is destroying me) and waiting for her initiative.
Anyway, There's that small detail, when i'm around she laughs like out loud! she uses her phone to seem busy, i doubt she does anything with it. I don't know if i am imagining that, overlooking it, or it is indeed true.
-rolf : i don't want to nail it, i mean isn't waiting a better option, let things grow mature, if she likes me, then it'll grow bigger (or not? XD)
Oh and i'm not sexually attracted to her, i mean i don't think this way of her, i just want us to be together, if you know what i mean...
Thanks again everyone :)
bermudapineapple
You don't have to ask her out so suddenly if you have barely had a conversation with her. That's why you instigate a couple conversations, share some details so you she knows you a bit more than "that weirdo who is always nervous when I sit next to him," crack a few jokes, ask her how she did on some assignments, what courses she is taking, where she is from, etc, and then in like a week or two you ask her if she wants to get some coffee. If she says no, NO ONE CARES. If she says yes, you take it from there.
It's really not that difficult. There have been millions of guys who felt the same way before you and millions who will feel the same way after you, and the advice never changes, and it never will.
I was in your shoes when I was around 17-20 years old, then I just got tired and bored of overthinking and grew out of it. Anyone in this thread who says overthinking is good is completely wrong.
Good luck.
EDIT: Also, I disagree with the people saying you should take your time and become her friend. That's the quickest way to lose her interest. You have to be blunt and confident, but smart and patient too so you don't come off as a creep. Women like men who know what they want.
mmk92
I can relate to these types of situations from the past. This is a classic "high school crush", where you THINK you're in love only after a few interactions with the individual.
As I can see from your description, she seems like a nice person that you've had a few small talks within and you've mistaken the niceness for her liking you. I'm not saying she doesn't like you as, but in many cases with me and many many other men niceness could be mistaken for affection.
Easiest signs that she likes you are if she actively tries to conversate with you and has some interest in your personal life. I'm gonna take a guess and say that she probably doesn't because as I understood you never had a conversation outside your class and you never exchanged numbers.
If you feel like you have the guts, gather every bit of self esteem you have and try to actively conversate with her OUTSIDE of the classroom. You could start off with something about the class's topic and follow a train of thought till you're talking about something completely different. Girls like guys with self esteem, don't project this image of vulnerability where you feel like you need her to make a move before anything happens.
Whatever you do, good luck. Remember, all what you experience you'll forget within a few months time and you'll be laughing about it. Don't fret any decision you make.
rolf
barrad wrote
-rolf : i don't want to nail it, i mean isn't waiting a better option, let things grow mature, if she likes me, then it'll grow bigger (or not? )
Waiting for what?
You say that she is not sarting the conversation, and you're not making any move, I see nothing happening except in your head.
barrad
maybe you're right, i'm waiting for her, and thinking that she's waiting for me, how pathetic am i...
RandomMemory
Hey here's a good idea. MAN UP and go talk to her. Come on, if you stay like this you will just regret it 4 years later when you finish your degree. Just try to find common things, ask her common stuff, talk with her about interest, if she still looks like she doesn't care, ask her out. If she says yes, well you get what you wanted, if you not, move on and look for someone else. ,
hussam
RandomMemory
That escalated quickly
rolf
Stygmata wroterolf just destroyed the fridge ...savage AF
I am just to give useful advice, unlike "let's install a database together"!
Stygmata
rolf wroteStygmata wroterolf just destroyed the fridge ...savage AF
I am just to give useful advice, unlike "let's install a database together"!
now you are undermining my advise .. i clearly said to take her out for coffee or something .. the database is a joke to sugarcoat everything .. you cannot tell a guy "hey man up yo !" without castrating his manliness .. i am sure Barrad 17 or 18 years old .straight out of school ..so still fresh