LU is not the uni you'd expect, that's why you hated it. Go get a job, come up with some cash (Like 3000,4000$) and set it aside and go to a proper uni, it doesn't have to be AUB or LAU or something, just somewhere where it's not LU. LU is like school. In Uni, you choose what courses you'd like to take with some given choices, and then organize them however you want. I for example have set aside an hour after each course so that I could hang out with some friends or just study for an exam I might have one day. Furthermore, you can go only 3 or 2 days a week for only a few hours. It's up to you how many courses you would like to take or when to take and who to take it with (You choose your professor).
So step 1 is to get a job, set some money aside and go to uni.
If you still feel the same way you used to feel (Depressed, careless etc.) be sure to see a therapist and do something about it. Nothing will change if you sit on your ass all day. You need to get up, and do something about it.
Most importantly, be sure that you want to study CS. Do you know what CS is or what it's aimed at? If so, do you want that? No?> choose something else, if you don't know, then run around from person to person or from place to place and find out. Get some information about it.
What you can also do is, get into shape. Open some reliable fitness websites like MensFitness.com or MensHealth.com and study. Or just contact me (I do some amateur personal training as a hobby).
Inspiration:
When I was younger, I was fat, stupid immature and got picked on a lot, by people at school. At some point I even got beaten up, some people took advantage of me and stole from me. One day I realized that I don't want to be this person anymore. What makes someone better than me? Having the ability to do stuff that I can't? ok sure, but would I accept that? Ofcourse not!
So I got up and did something about it. I got my mind straight. Killed that immature kid inside of me and thought more logically, more leadership like. I dealt with everything one by one. I went onto Google and looked up EVERYTHING. Like how not to be awkward around people, how to treat people, how to love myself, how to treat myself. how to have self confidence. One by one I looked up things and refused to be the ignorant stupid immature person I was. And tried everything in my power to change myself mentally and personally. And then I did. Now I started thinking more logically and how I should respect people and how to get respected back etc. Then I realized I don't want to be fat, so I went to a nutritionist and lost about 20-25kilos in like 6 months. During this process my studies went down. Like WAYYY down. I couldn't pass 5th grade. I struggles a lot but eventually made grade 11. By that time my dad refused to waste his money on me and put me through 12th grade. He was planning that I should go to AUST and apply as a freshman as a computer science student..I refused. I fought with him for weeks and told him I can pass, I can pass I can pass. It's my life and I know what I want to do with it. So he laughs at me and says "If you pass your bachelor's degree, I will gift you a car." and I said "DEAL, if I fail, I'll pay for the second year, because I will repeat it until I get it" and I did fail my first year (The school never thought us anything, teachers were very very bad and we fought alot with the principal. Only 1 student passed the entire year) So this year I repeated my class and ofc got my ifede (Even though I would have passed regardless) and now I'm an official student of Haigazian University. My family was shocked because I was the only person in the family who made it this far. However I was fat again and told myself that I'm fat because I don't know what I'm eating. So I read "
Fat Chance by Robert H. Lustig and learned what junk food does to you. It was the second I read that book when my mentality about food completely changed. Now I only eat healthy veggies, carbs, lean protein and work out 3 days a week + train some friends for my personal inspiration. I decided I made it this far on my own, which proves that I can do anything I want, I can be anyone I want and I can anything I want if I set my mind to it.
Now I:
-
Started my small business - Which lead me to never borrow money from my dad and do everything by myself
- Do everything for myself by myself
- Have planned my future completely in detail
- Lost 25KG and still plan to loose another 15, and add a few for muscle
- Learned how to drive
- Learn, fix literally everything
- Have a good reputation as a person
- Learn how to do everything properly, including making smart decisions - which made me plan my future to be safe, successful and completely worth it.
Things you should note:
- Never give up on anything. The process is again and again and again until the "a" goes and you're left with "gain"
- You can anything you set your mind to. I was the guy who got laughed at for not being able to run for 1 minute. Now I sprint for a few minutes, do tons of stuff and never get tired. I rarely feel tired even if I carried heavy things from place to place for an hour.
- Make sure you know what you want and aim your life towards it to get it.
- Always push yourself. Nothing gets done when you're in your comfort zone. If you feel too comfortable or feel hesitant about something, DO IT.
- No one is better than you. It's just a matter of taking care of yourself to get to their level. No one is smarter nor stupider. It's about learning things and knowing how to think.
- To learn to love things, you must first love yourself and accept yourself, then change yourself to be how exactly you want yourself to be.
- Live in the moment and plan for the future.
- Enjoy life, try new stuff that you wouldn't be caught dead doing. Like going sky diving, or scuba diving, anything that's new and fun, do it.
By doing all these, you'll be happy, mature, successful and just enjoy everything in life, including the little things like the morning sun, clear sky. Everything! You will achieve eternal bliss.