Fischer wrotemay i ask you, why did you study programming? why did you become a programmer? I ask this question, because if you studied it because you loved it, you should have thought that programming is extremely fun at some point. In fact when someone studies anything because he loved it, he thinks it's fun.
It's partly social expectation from people around me and partly because there was nothing much better to do, and partly because I enjoyed the challenge and the discover, building stuff, making things run!
I never really studied it, tried studying a compromise of business courses and computer courses in college but courses like "Access" and "Excel" and "Web programming" (understand spend a whole semester to master if and else constructs in PHP!) killed my motivation.
Now I do enjoy it sometimes, but lately I find it hard to find much motivation left and there are many factors needed to get me in the mood. It's like the moon has to align with the planets and it has to be total quiet and the humidity level has to be 82% to be able to concentrate well and be productive.
Fischer wrote
But I don't blame you, freelancing sucks, especially if all you do is working on the front end, when someone hires me to do freelancing for him, i tell him, i work on the backend, i don't touch the frontend, i don't give a shit about your html and jpegs. I hate working with html css javascript, last month i was working on a project to create a payment gateway (bank audi) for e-learning software, the client started demanding new design and stuff, i left the project, I'll try to be nice, i don't know how nice can i be when i say this, but I HATE CLIENTS.
So I really understand you thinking that programming sucks, i say all you need to do is work on the backend in a big team, no stress, leave php alone, don't touch it anymore, work with python or C# both are fun, ruby on rails is not that much fun if you're working on the backend for a big project, scaffolding seems fun for newbies, but it sucks, do as i said and you'll be fine
I, on the other hand, prefer front-end. HTML/CSS sucks big time somtimes (and no i'm not touching anyone else's code, I have enough hard time with my stuff), but I kinda like the puzzle and static aspect of it, and I find the rewards to be bigger especially if you have a nice but innovative graphic designer.
Regarding customers I come to hate most of them too, and it sucks coz you can't get anywhere nice if you work with people you hate all the time. Some things I hate:
- A customer always nagging about the delays and wanting deadlines, an tricking you to give him dates or squeezing commitment out of you, and when you come close to the deadline suddently he starts changing his mind and sending you endless emails of modifications and replacements and "fine tuning" (which can be so much as a total re-design).
- Customers who tell me my work is crap (directly or indirectly). Some will refuse to pay. Others will get surprized when I have a negative reaction and tell me to send a bill and that they will pay everything and no need to get mad... no I'm not your bitch! I hate both of them.
- Those who just change their mind at the middle of the road and decide to stop working with me after I bore them for days and after exchanging endless emails about their crappy project all the while thinking that I was doing a good thing.
Sometimes I get pissed at customers, and my defense is that I'm a programmer, not an account manager. If they want they can deal with me through a graphic designer or whatever and he will manage this stuff and be the intermediary. I charge fairly as a developer, nothing more, nothing less.
It's good answering you and sorry for hanging my dirty laundry in public, now hopefully a solution can be found!
Mods, I hope this will not go through as (too much of a) a rant. Truth is one has to lay out his problems then they can better be solved, and maybe this is a good thing
xterm wrote
- I know you're an experienced PHP developer, and mostly anal about your use of external libraries/frameworks. Did you ever feel curious about trying something new in the web development context, from a PHP perspective?
Yes, thank you for being blunt and sincere :)
Anal is a bit too much, as my dislike is not out of some anal belief, but experience and dislike as a product of this experience.
I always research frameworks, etc. but have yet to find one which justifies the effort and time investment. But being stuck in a motivational dead-end might finally push me over the edge in that direction, unless maybe another solution comes up!
xterm wrote
- Are you in touch with other programmers on a daily basis, ones that you can rant/show to, That really helps.
I can see that :)
Thank you! I see what you mean and agree.